Romy Shiller

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part I’ – Or, “The Twilight Saga: Bite Me! Part 1”

In Film, review on December 9, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Clearly, today was going to be nightmarish.

Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 3, p.54

Director: Bill Condon

Writers: Melissa Rosenberg(screenplay), Stephenie Meyer (novel)

Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner

(Warning – spoilers):

As I said before (review of Twilight: Eclipse), this film’s slim merit lies in its strong appeal to teenagers. I cannot regard it outside of this appeal. “Critiques really have no weight when it comes to films like this. The haters are gonna hate, the fans are gonna love, and everyone else will check the movie listings and their own wallets before deciding if this is the best option for a night on the town.”

I am way too familiar with vampire stuff and that being said, I like Ann Rice’s vampires best. When she felt badly for her vampire characters because Meyer’s Edward sparkled in the sunlight, I laughed but agreed. “A vampire rivalry is brewing. Anne Rice, author of the popular ‘Vampire Chronicles‘ series that includes ‘Interview With the Vampire’, took to her Facebook page to knock the author of ‘Twilight,’ Stephenie Meyer. Rice said her vampires would “feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun,” as the “Twilight” vampires do. She also knocks the fact that the ‘Twilight’ vampires remain in high school throughout the books.”   A sparkling vampire? Really?

Plot: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, commonly referred to as Breaking Dawn, is a 2011/2012 two-part romantic fantasy film directed by Bill Condon and based on the novel Breaking Dawn by, Stephenie Meyer. The two parts form the fourth and final installment in theThe Twilight Saga series. All three main cast members, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, reprise their roles.[ The Quileute and the Volturi close in on… Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses different threats to the wolf pack and vampire coven.

I found this and thought it was funny.

Top Ten Things In ‘Breaking Dawn’ (book) That Bugged Me
10. The concept of a Bella/Edward lovechild…too bizarre!
9.  Jacob’s entire loss of personality after Nessie was born.
8.  WTF happened to Quil and Embry? No happy ending for Jacob & his best boyfriends?!
7.  Marcus’ boredom…. that guy need’s some “South Park” in his life!
6.  Charlie is on a “need to know” basis!
5.  Charlie is totally hooking up with Seth’s mom!
4.  Leah needs to read COSMO. She can’t keep asking Jacob about her ‘lady problems’
3.  Renesmee’s name. COME ON!
2. Two words….JAZZ & EM?!
1. The Volturi’s dominance over all mythical creatures! Come on, let’s just have Aro hold hand’s with Hermione and Casper and we can all get along!

Top Ten Best Things In ‘Breaking Dawn’
10. Jacob’s Preface. Life Sucks, and then you die. “Yeah, I should be to lucky!”
9.  Leah Clearwater.
8.  Seth’s utter adoration for the Cullens. the kid probably has a ‘Cullen family’ Calendar in his room.
7.  Edward tears lingerie. Nice.
6. Jacob’s chapter names. ‘Waiting for the damn fight to start!’ & ‘Sure as hell didn’t see that one coming’
5. The Wedding. no snide comment here. It was utterly perfect.
4. Emmett and Rosalie can knock down some houses! *wink**wink*
3. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
2. Emmett’s sports announcements, “well it’s about time *someone* scored around here”
1. Edward like’s it rough. He destroys headboards, pillows, and bed frames!

The film is based on the book so this list is completely relevant. ABC News says, “If you’ve already been sucked into this

love story via the book, then perhaps you’ll be interested in whether or not Edward can make love to his new wife without killing her. If you’ve just come to know these two through the movie, you’re hoping the projectionist throws the switch…”

Roger Ebert says, “….the morning after her wedding night she is black and blue with bruises, the frame of the bed is broken, all of the furniture is tossed around and the draperies are shredded. Good gravy! What happened?” Sorry but ha! Virginity is replaced by SM. Schizo much?

So this is part 1 of the final 2. Like the Harry Potter finale I’m sure that there is a sense of loss and overwhelming curiosity for fans. There is a lot to this story about how ‘good’ teens are supposed to behave. For one, waiting until you are married to have sex is crucial – even if having sex might kill you. Sex itself is for procreation. The extremely bizarre conception illustrates this. As I’ve said, the ideology of appropriate behavior is very strong. We self-regulate ourselves and this story fits nicely into the model. We can be twisted – after marriage.

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner have become teen idols because of the Twilight films. Their poor acting skills mean little to most of the fans who will pretty much see them in anything. This is the power of the film. That the author of the novels is a Mormon who brings her own moral compass to the story is irrelevant to most. On Yahoo! Answers  somebody asked if Stephenie Meyer is Mormon. Someone replied, “We believe that any sexual intercourse between persons who are not a man and a woman who are married to each other is a sin”. This answer explains the entire non-sexual relationship between Edward and Bella.

I went to see the film with two persons who are not vampire savvy but who knew that Jacob was a wolf. It ‘helps’ to know the basics. I asked them if this film stood on its own without the others. They both said it did. I believe it is the weakest of the Saga (New Moon, Eclipse, [now – Breaking Dawn 1 and 2]) but maybe in combination with part 2 it redeems itself.

A review says, “It’s time to nail the coffin shut on the Twilight Saga… Save us from the vapid vampires!”  Ok.


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